There I Have Said It

by Matthew Szweda

The United States should have invaded Iraq years ago.

Yes, there are protesters around the world today decrying the efforts of the US in Iraq. So what of these protesters? Where were these protesters when Saddam Hussein was gassing his own people, sending countless others to be ground like hamburger in antiquated trenches along the Iranian borders, or sacrificing a generation of untrained soldiers in a futile attempt to try to grab oil in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia? And what of his death camps, torture chambers, hit squads? Where were all the protesters then as an estimated two million Iraqis perished?

Many argue that The United Nations should have been given more time to be effective. If only the US had waited longer, more countries would have joined the coalition. Two points: One Saddam Hussein was only allowing inspectors back into his country because the US had massed forces on his boarder. Second, even by the inspectors own accounts, Saddam Hussein was being less than helpful. Saddam sent the UN an accounting of their weapons program that was antiquated and much of it copied from generic reports and information supplied almost a decade before. Inspectors were still not given access to all sites and inspectors were not allowed to talk privately with key individuals. Simply put, Saddam Hussein was not cooperating fully. Why not? The US and others assumed, logically, that not cooperating meant that there were things that were being hidden. That is a simple logical conclusion.

The question remains, could the UN have been effective if it had been given more time? History tells us repeatedly that the answer is no. The UN inspectors are in Iran this week and out of Iran next week. If they issue an unfavorable report in the eyes of the Iranians, they are locked out from investigating key sites. So the UN issues more reports. And what are they reporting on? They are trying to decide whether one of the richest oil countries in the world is developing and building nuclear reactors to create an atom bomb. Or, as the Iranians would have us believe, they are exploring alternative methods of energy production. Really. Who believes that? And yet the UN needs to file more reports, make more visits, conduct more tests. Who do you think will conduct his test first the UN or the Mullah cleric?

But, of course, the protesters point out that, “Hey, you found no bombs. You conducted this war because you told us he had bombs, and now there are not any.” The only mistake made by the US and British governments are playing this silly shell game with protesters. It does not matter that there were or were not weapons!

It does not matter that there were or were not weapons! There I have said it. Saddam Hussein was a megalomaniac. His goal was to be remembered as a god and unite the whole Arab world under his rule. He fought every neighbor in the region. He committed acts of horrendous genocide. The difference between Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction and Saddam Hussein having the will and means to make the weapons of mass destruction is semantics. Maybe in some Hamburger Courtroom semantics are real important. The war in Iraq was not fought to find weapons of mass destruction. The war in Iraq was fought to keep Saddam from acquiring and using weapons of mass destruction. Mission Accomplished.

Protesters now say, but Iraq is now an unstable and dangerous place. True enough. And the Arab community is now firmly set against the US and the Western World. Time and Patience. After World War Two, it took the allies four years to put together democracy in Germany. More years followed before Germany became a powerhouse in Europe. Reconstruction does not happen overnight. What will surely kill the peace is this demand for immediate elections and a quick US pull out. Yes, there are deaths almost on a daily basis. And yes, there are some amazing images of violence. But this present violence does not compare to the millions who died in Iraqi wars and Saddam’s dirty death chambers. Take a deep breath when you see the next charred car and then hold your breath and pretend you are one of the forty thousand Kurds who were gassed to death hanging your underwear behind your house.

Arab resentment against the West is a serious threat. No doubt. But did we really think that this resentment would go away by simply sitting on the sidelines and letting Arab Mosques and schools spread their messages of hate. The US was involved in Bosnia (saving Muslims against Christians), in Kuwait and Saudi (saving Muslims from a megalomaniac) in Lebanon (saving Muslims from the Israelis, Christians, and Druze), in Somalia (saving Muslims from a Warlord who was starving his Muslim brothers), in Afghanistan (saving Muslims from certain starvation at the hands of Osama and his thugs). Still, we had September 11th.

The US policy in Iraq is realistic.

No, it does not rest on the formalities of making certain everyone agrees and every member of the world community has a voice. Those are luxuries. Nice, certain and wouldn’t we all feel better if we all stuck to the same rules? And yes, rule under Saddam was much cleaner and prettier. Now we have these Muslims going to Mosque when they want and their Imams saying all sorts of nonsense. And instead of wars where millions perished and their bodies were quickly anesthetized and whitewashed before the cameras got there, we now have live, burning people.

The US policy in Iraq is one of hope.

The goal of the Bush administration is to turn Iraq into a powerful symbol in the Arab World. Iraq is one of the few Arab countries, besides Iran, where the population is reasonably well educated and where the resources can be easily channeled to create a thriving, prosperous economy. And look at the possibilities. Iran is ready to collapse from within under pressure from democratic reforms. How important would it be to have a powerful Iraq nearby as Iran morphed into a democracy? And what about the Palestinian people with an Arab ally in Iraq willing to promote the cause of peace and pressure Syria to renounce terror.

8 CLOTHING: Fashions by Andrea Langlais

by Ted Langlais

One of the things that most people who grow up in large families are familiar with is the fight over the television set. I was always a Star Trek and Science Fiction geek, taking in as many hours of fantasy television as I could get my hands on. The summers when I came home from university I would plomp myself down on the couch every evening to catch up on all the hours I had missed, not being able to afford cable television on my student allowance. I admit that I’m pretty selfish when it comes to hogging the remote control. But my sister always did a pretty good job of persuading me to change the channel.

She has always been obsessed with fashion programs. Back in those days, before the fashion network came along and provided twenty four hour a day clothing coverage, watching these programs, for my sister, was kind of like me trying to watch Friday night videos before Much Music became a staple of the Canadian airwaves. And, like my mother six years earlier, I learned that I was able to sit and endure the fashion program for a half hour. Of course, Canadian television has never been as conservative as the United States; if Janet Jackson had performed at the Grey Cup half-time show, her breast might have made headlines for about a day and a half afterward, and that’s only if her publicist was good enough. The occasional nipple slip which invariably occurred on my sister’s fashion television made the half hour worth while.

My sister, on the other hand, actually watched these programs for the clothes. Ever since she can remember she’s been interested in fashion design; it has been the only thing she has ever wanted to do. Following her first year of university, she moved to Toronto to study fashion, and a few years after graduating moved to New York where she works for a company in the fashion and design industry. More recently she has become the designer of her own label: 8 CLOTHING.

Last fall she released her first line, including a jacket inspired by traditional military designs of the previous century. It was a classy dark grey jacket, trimmed with red. The colors reflected those of our old High School, a fitting tribute to the institution which offered her her first taste of serious art lessons. The jacket and the other items from this clothing line were available at Gallery Vercon in the East Village.

This March, Andrea’s first spring line will be released. It consists of classy, feminine clothes made from fine silk fabric with a layer of lace and sporting nicely understated floral patterns. The clothes give the impression of lingerie, a naughty but elegant style that looks both sexy and respectable.

“My ideas for designing for spring and fall are so completely different,” says Andrea, “for spring seasons, I want to do feminine and pretty clothes, and for fall seasons, I want to do more androgynous type clothing. At least for the first few seasons, but who knows where it will evolve to in the future.”

In the words of Andrea Langlais, 8 CLOTHING produces “ultra feminine, classically hip, and high quality” fashions for the 20-40 year old urban woman.

Andrea is the classic example of the individual relying on pure talent and determination in the pursuit of her dream. She had no relatives and few connections in New York when she first moved there. She currently works as a textile designer in the fashion district during the day and devotes the evenings and weekends to 8 CLOTHING. Even though 8 CLOTHIING is a small company just starting out, Andrea has faith in its potential and in the quality and appeal of her designs.

I slipped into the New York industry by being transferred from Canada. You almost always need a degree in fashion and then hopefully you can get lucky by getting a job in the field. I had a teacher in school give me the best advice...."Do not take a job outside of the field once you graduate, because it will make getting into the industry almost impossible". There are few jobs opening up and a lot of people with fashion degrees.

There is currently no word as to where 8 CLOTHING’S spring line will be available, but a website and web store are in the development stage. In the meantime, Andrea Langlais can be reached through ScribeCentral.com if anyone is interested in contacting her directly about purchasing her clothing.

Ted Langlais writes and teaches in Medellín, Colombia along with a few of the other guys at ScribeCentral.com. Ted admits his bias when talking about his sisters work, but as he says, "I admire Andrea's work in spite of the fact that she is my sister, not because of it."

"Vote, F*cker" T-Shirt

The following is a press release from www.busproject.org in response to this article which was posted on the homepage March 3, 2004:

Vote, F*cker T-Shirt To Combat Urban Outfitters Anti-Voting Slogan

Urban Outfitters has started selling t-shirts with the slogan Voting is for old people, leading to numerous complaints by people concerned that the t-shirt simply reinforces the negative social trends of voter apathy and disengagement.

Rather than complain about it, young activists at the Portland, Oregon based Bus Project have unveiled a t-shirt that they promise is just as inappropriate, except that it encourages voting. The shirt has simple block letters spelling VOTE, F*CKER , with a red star in between the F and the C.

We have a t-shirt that is just as obnoxious, and nearly as ironic, but that does not discourage voting, commented Heather Kmetz, a lawyer and Co-Chair of the Oregon Bus Project.

The Project developed the VOTE, F*CKER slogan in 2002, following a conversation during which board members debated calling college students in the middle of the night, yelling Vote, F*cker before hanging up. The idea: people wouldn t like the call, but it just might make them vote

We generally focus on sweetness and light, explained Project Chair Jefferson Smith, but now, in light of the controversy surrounding Urban Outfitters, we think it s the right message at the right time. We d like Urban Outfitters to carry both shirts, and see which sells best. We could call it a shirt off. And it might get some people to pay attention and get involved.

Jennifer Yocom, Bus Project Director of Operations, explained that although the group was taking a lighthearted approach, the issue was quite serious. The Urban Outfitters anti-voting shirt appeals to a sort of anti-establishment market. You don t want people to protest the current power structure by deciding not to vote. You want them to protest by voting and helping to change things.

Other Board Members of the Bus Project denied any knowledge of the Vote, F*cker endeavor. Yes, I own one of the Vote, F*cker t-shirts. And yes, I purchased one for a friend. And yes, I was involved in the development of the slogan. But beyond that I have no knowledge or affiliation with any profanity or inappropriate activity, said board member Joe Baessler.

The Bus Project bought a very limited run of the shirts, and they have really caught on. In fact, they are probably the coolest thing in Oregon politics right now, and there s nothing cooler than Oregon politics.

Recent studies have shown that less than a third of young people vote, and only a tiny fraction volunteer for political candidates and causes. The Bus Project has a mission to engage, educate, elect and works to connect young people in positive political action. Their website is www.busproject.org. You can view and purchase the T-Shirt at www.votefcker.org.

The Ramones Come Home

by Anicycle

Last year “The Scribe” requested pictures of snow for the winter edition. One of the reasons was to show snow to people that live in countries where they may have never seen it. I got thinking about this and realized that many people may think that snow is white, fluffy and beautiful. It is…. but not in urban areas. I live in New York, where we do not get much snow, but the snow we do get gets UGLY quickly. It gets brown from cars. People throw their garbage in it. Dogs urinate on it. It stays on the sidewalk for days and just gets dirty, dirty, dirty. This photo was taken in the East Village, NY, one week after a snowstorm.

The name of the street I live on is Joey Ramone Place. How cool is that? CBGB’s , the bar that spawned punk music and on many nights saw performances by the Ramones is right across the street. This was the neighbourhood where he lived and became a legend. On November 30, 2004, all I had to do was step outside my door to watch the official ceremony for the renaming of my street, from plain old 2nd St. to Joey Ramone Place. The first picture is of Joey Ramone’s Mom, the remaining members of the Ramone’s and miscellaneous officials for the ceremonies during speeches. The 2nd picture…our new street sign!!!

Curriculum Vitae: George W. Bush

I recently had an email exchange with a right-winger from my local newspaper, and of course the war with Iraq came up pretty quick. But he said something in defense of George Bush that really surprised me. In defense of the attack on Iraq he said 'between Hussein and Bush, Hussein is the bad guy'.

My first response was ... So your guy is better than a third world dictator. Wow! what an accomplishment! Does he put that on his resume?

And with that in mind, I started wondering ... what would a George W. Bush resume look like exactly?

Listed below is what I came up with:

*********************************************

George W. Bush Resume

Past work experience:

* Ran for congress and lost.

* Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

* Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

* Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs.

* With my fathers help (and name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments:

* Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

* Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.

* Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

* Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.

* Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president

* Attacked and took over two countries.

* Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

* Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

* Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

* Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

* First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

* First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

* First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.

* Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.

* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

* Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.

* Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.

* Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

* Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

* Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.

* Presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

* Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

* Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

* Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)

* Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

* My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the "poorest", multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).

* First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

* Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

* First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.

* Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

* Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.

* First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

* First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

* Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

* Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* Withdrew from the World Court of Law.

* Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

* All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

* My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

* Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

* First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

* First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

* First US president to establish a secret shadow government.

* Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

* With a policy of "dis-engagement" created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

* First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

* First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

* Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

* Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.

* Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

* Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

* In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

* Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for more Americans than any other president in US history.

* In a little over two years, created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

* Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References

* At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)

* AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.

* Refused to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

* All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or Uncle James Baker. They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.

(NOTE: This was sent via email. If you are the author of this piece, please email scribecentral.com. Thanks.)

The Stella Awards

This excerpt comes from Phil's Diary
.

Some of the items seem to be reminiscent of Urban Legends that have made there way around the web via email over the years, but funny nonetheless.

From Phil's site:

It’s time once again to consider the candidates for the 2003 Stella Awards. The Stella’s are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most uniquely successful lawsuits in the United States for last year. Actually, joint awards should be given to the plaintiff attorneys and the
flaming idiots on the juries who awarded anything at all to these morons--who deserved NOTHING!!!!

The following are this year’s candidates:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering this misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour’s hubcaps.

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx! (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

This year’s favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32- foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in> the owner’s manual that he couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.