Week 10: The Return of the Orange Blazer

It’s the 500th presentation of Monday Night Football and Jerry Rice, scoring his 200th touchdown, and the Oakland Raiders are devastating the Denver Broncos.

I’ve hated the Broncos since 1995 when we were forced to watch American Football on the Denver affiliate stations in El Salvador. No matter what, you had to see the kick-off for the Bronco’s game. Even when, it was the final play of a two point game and Green Bay was kicking from 42 yards against the Vikings, if it was time for Denver to play they took you away in time for that damned kick-off. The number of close early games I missed because of Denver’s dedication to their football team was enough to turn me off of the team forever.

Of course, beating my Packers in the Superbowl a few years back doesn’t help.

Now, add to that, some red neck, expatriate idiot that used to frequent the Club yelling at his Broncos every single time they made a play, and you’ve turned me away from the team for life, no matter how nice John Elway’s smile was. I wish I could remember this Gringo’s name because he was a case. He thought he was a God because he was paying his poor girlfriends way through med-school and that of course gave him the right to treat her however he pleased. He refused to make any attempt to pronounce the Spanish place names correctly; I remember he always called from “Cincinnati” (actually the town of Sonsonate) to ask what the score was in the game if he had to miss it. The best was when the other guys at the bar sold him drink after drink of premium “brandy” which he raved about for days. The drink was actually a combination of whatever cheap liquors had been lying around at the bottom of their bottles for years, mixed together and sold off to this guy as payback.

While I’m at it, I might as well relay another story of a character I was forced to watch football with. This young guy came in one day, drinking coke or something. It’s always a bad sign when I guy drinks soda pop when he’s watching American Football at a bar. On his first day in the club he grabbed the control and watched his game, graciously turning back to the Packers game to allow me to catch the score. Finally, when it was obvious the game he was watching was a blow-out, we managed to get the control back. My point here is that when you are in the Club, there is a seniority that you have to respect. I respected it in my early years there, and every other good member respected it, but this guy was one of those people you just wanted to punch as soon as you saw him.

Of course, it doesn’t help that he started dating the girl I was after back then. But alas, Karma had its way in the end. Everybody figured out that this guy was a jerk, the girl ended up being completely self-centered, and he ran up tons of drinks on her tab that she wound up having to pay for.

With the personal rant over, I should get back to the Football.

It is a shame that Tampa Bay, Green Bay, and New Orleans are all in the NFC because it would be great to see two of these teams play in the Superbowl. The Pack just walked all over the Lions yesterday, perhaps not a big feat on its own, but they are dominating the standings this season. Sure they don’t look so hot some days, but the team has stepped up to make the big plays when it counts. Every player has come into the game to help Favre get the job done. That’s the sign of a leader.

Before I get to the British Club standings, I’ve got to say that while I was never a fan of Dennis Miller, watching John Madden has been even worse. I mean every fifteen minutes, I’m on the verge of throwing something at the television set in the hopes that the psychic effect will actually reach Denver and make him realise what an idiot he sounds like. This is not just tonight—this goes way back to the New England game when he wanted to name 22 MVPs and couldn’t make up his freaking mind, to his geography lesson in Philadelphia. It is pretty sad when somebody like Madden is commentating the biggest sports event of the week.

Okay, ladies and gentleman as the game winds down I’d like to give you the standings of the British Club Second Annual Weekly Pickem Tournament. It really is close midway through the season and could be anybody’s game.

1 white man 87
2 coconetsuperstar 85
2 TheBunny 85
4 SPURSMASOCHIST 84
5 Dinosaur Bob 83
5 swanhorts 83
7 TheScribe 82
7 Cheesehead Chick 82
9 Tributary Trudeau 81
10 I SUK!!! U ROOL!!!! 78
11 GONE FISHIN' 77
12 Canadian Kevin 62

I’d also like to send out a warm “Get Well” message from all the guys at the British Club of El Salvador and ScribeCentral.com to Canadian Kevin who had some health problems recently but is, thankfully, recovering nicely. His low score is not because he doesn’t know football as he finished in second place last year, but has unfortunately had to miss a couple of weeks.

Best of luck Kevin.

The “Ex” Patriot